Updated: Oct 24
We all want the outcome! The six pack abs, the 600lb deadlift, the larger paycheck, more clients, a happier family life, stronger spirituality, and loving, authentic relationships. But how do we go about achieving the outcomes we want? Why the hell do we even want these outcomes in the first place? The answer to that question is something I will most likely write another post on but that is what we call our “WHY”. When motivation isn’t there, our why will get us moving. Regardless of how bad we want something or maybe need something, unless we DO something about it, nothing will happen! This may seem silly but our ego always gets in the way and blocks us with the simplest things. Certain tasks, no matter how minuscule, require action.
Whatever we feed gets stronger! Remember that!! If we plan on going to the gym before work in the morning, and hit the snooze instead, it will get easier and easier every time to hit the snooze. Conversely, every time we keep our word to ourself, and get out of bed and go to the gym to complete that workout, that will get easier everytime we are faced with that choice! AHHH!! The power of choice!! We all make choices every single day. In fact, our day is nothing but a series of choices, one after the next. The alarm goes off and I can walk straight to the bathroom and hop in the shower. Or, I can walk straight into the kitchen and click on the coffee. Or I can hit the snooze button, over sleep, rush out the door, get stuck in traffic, and then blame the traffic for why I’m late. (If you couldn’t tell, victim mindset is something I work on with my clients).
Life is a journey. How many times have you heard that one before? Well, its true. I’m 30 years old and every outcome I have set out to achieve, when I finally got to the “finish line” the grass was not greener. I redirected the ship and started chasing another outcome and what do you know, the same thing happened. This feeling of emptiness at the end.
A big shift in perspective for me was learning to love the process. Actually being grateful for absolutely everything that goes into achieving a goal. The hard facts are, we actually don‘t even control outcomes. Of course, we can increase or decrease the likelihood of a particular outcome but we can‘t control it. Let’s say I wanted to lose 10lbs. If had complete control over that outcome, I could snap my fingers and in an instant, drop 10lbs!! That would be awesome! Unfortunately, that’s not reality. In reality, we hire a coach, or map out our own journey through which we are going to lose that 10lbs. It may look like waking up and getting to spin class before work. Cutting out certain foods from our diet. Getting to bed earlier. DRY JANUARY! Point is, when we have a desired outcome we want to achieve, we map out our process and go to work.
How sustainable is your process? This is so key to your longterm success! Let’s stick with the weight loss example for this. If you want to lose 20lbs for a wedding you have coming up this summer, there are a couple of ways to go about this. We know that healthy weight loss is 1-2lbs per week. On the low end, that is 4-5lbs in a month and the high end would be 8-10lbs. The more drastic the outcome, the more drastic the process. To lose more than 10lbs in a month, you are not only losing fat, but you’re also losing muscle. For this to happen, we place tight restrictions on what and how much we eat. If this process of starving ourselves isn’t enjoyable or healthy, it‘s not going to be sustainable. So after the wedding is done, we inevitably go back to our previous process and return to the previous outcome.
But what if little by little, we loved ourself and gave ourselves permission to enjoy the journey? To allow whatever needs to happen, happen for us to accomplish our goal. What if it took 12 months instead of a crash course of 30 days. Would not 12 months be worth an investment for the rest of your life? On the flip side, the slower change is, the more sustainable the process because we are changing our behavior little by little. Allowing it to become routine and sustainable! We live in a society of NOW and INSTANT GRATIFICATION but when it comes to fulfillment and joy, it’s been my experience that DELAYED GRATIFICATION is the way to go!
In closing, the struggles we have faced, most likely aren’t because, we‘re not motivated, we don’t have time, we don’t have money, we need to think about it, or the dog told me I’m not allowed to change. Those are just stories you have told yourself UP UNTIL NOW!!!! We only ever have right now. There is no other time other than the present moment. Stop waiting for Monday, stop waiting for the perfect time because it will not show up. If you know how to lose 10-20lbs but you don’t know how to keep it off longerm, you may need some help. There is no shame in asking for help. Actually, asking for help has quite the opposite effect. It’s a showing of self love. Time is the one commodity we never get more of and we lose the limited amount that we have each second that passes. If you need help structuring your process, ask for it!!!! Imagine how you will look, how you will feel, and what you’ll be able to do 12 months from now if you commit to a sustainable process and DON’T QUIT!!!!
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