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The Rearview vs. the Windshield

Which one am I looking through?


I had a conversation today with an incredible woman and she was not co-signing or entertaining my old patterns.


Throughout the convo, I heard, “Stop that” or ”Knock that off” because how I’m being is a reflection of my internal state. Playing small and feeling sorry for myself doesn’t serve me anymore, but at one time it did. The people I surround myself with, the way that I am acting is no accident. It all serves how I’m being, otherwise I wouldn’t invest in certain relationships or engage in specific behaviors!


Where am I going with this?


Each and every moment, I have the choice to look behind me through the rearview mirror of my life and be there.


Or....I can look forward, through the windshield of my life towards what I want for my family, friends, and relationships.


If I am staring through the rearview for to long, at some point I am going to crash. My past, regardless of what it looks like, serves a purpose. The way it can serve me today is showing me what worked or didnt work and allow me to course correct moving forward. What‘s behind me gets to fuel what lies ahead and what lies ahead is the vision I have for my life.


Up until now, I’ve had a pattern of dwelling on circumstances. Circumstances don‘t change. I do.


My external reality is created by me and me alone. What I’m thinking about myself and how I’m feeling about those thoughts will dictate next steps in my day. These next steps will determine the results I see in my life.


Being responsible can be frustrating. I no longer have to blame anyone or anything other than myself. This can be empowering or defeating. What I decide is entirely up to me!


Today, I get to be of service. I get be generous with my time and effort. I do not need to wait for perfect outside circumstances because lets be honest, that will never happen. I get to live abundantly right now in this very moment!


This is so simple to understand but so challenging to do! However, I‘ve found results come from the doing, not the knowing.


When I stop listening to my ego and get honest with myself, am I actually turning my life over every day and surrendering. Or am I trying to control every detail, circumstance, and outcome?


This is exhausting!


No wonder I have been feeling the way that I‘m feeling. I am draining myself!


Maybe you can identify with some of what I wrote. If so, you’re clearly not alone! Let‘s take a breath, refocus on what we want, and take the next step FORWARD toward that end. Let’s follow that step with another one and then another one after that. Let’s continue this process of taking steps until we get to where we want to be.


Most likely though, when we get to where we thought we wanted to be, we’ll probably want to take more steps to get to some other destination.


So, my final thought is, let’s learn to love the process and being where we currently are.


It’s okay to not be where someone else is. As long as I’m taking steps, at some point, I will be. There is no timeline.


When I eliminate my expectations and my timeline, I create freedom.


Donald Fisher


A grateful son paying it forward to other moms




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